I’ve been trying to get back into the swing of things here, with very little success. Ever since I got off the plane on Tuesday morning, I’ve been trying to “get it together” and “get back to normal” and I can’t figure out why I’m not getting there. I just don’t feel like doing anything. Except reading. That’s about it, truly; I just feel like reading books. Which makes me feel like a total slacker…
Perhaps it’s because I’ve spent the last year and a half or two years being horribly busy all.the.time., with never enough time to do all the stuff that had to be done, much less all the stuff I wanted to do. So even though I now have some breathing room, I can’t for the life of me figure out what to do with it.
Maybe it’s because I know that there are still so many things I need to be doing right now that I just can’t even figure out which one I should start on. And that’s not taking Christmas or the impending house move into account either. None of these things I need to do have looming deadlines (“looming” meaning within the next week or three), and since I do seem to work well under a deadline, that may also be part of the problem.
Or possibly this completely overwhelming, insane and quite astonishing array of “stuff” that I brought back with me from my trip is causing some ambivalent feelings:
That’s my 24″ x 36″ cutting mat that’s completely covered under there! Fabrics, threads, fibers, charms, beads, sequins, ribbons, silk petals, wire lace, grommets and brads, needles, etc., etc., etc. It’s mostly new stuff that I either hadn’t seen before, or hadn’t been able to get my hands on. And then there’s the imaginary pile of stuff that I didn’t buy, but brought home literature about so that I can track it down later when I need it.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s some really awesome and totally cool stuff in this pile, and on the one hand I can’t wait to play with it all. But on the other hand, I still have awesome and totally cool stuff from last year’s Quilt Market as well as last year’s Des Moines Quilt Expo that I haven’t played with very much because I just haven’t had the time, so maybe I just feel like I’ve been run over and flattened by the great idea/good intentions truck, and the implementation/completion truck isn’t following as closely behind as it ought.
So despite the fact that I spent a lot of time during my trip to the States thinking about how great it was going to be to get home and relax a little bit after being so busy for so long, I still feel like a slacker, and I’m left almost wondering if the creative energy will all come back at some point or if it’s on a permanent burn out vacation and has left no forwarding address. I suppose I’ll get there; yes, I’m sure I will eventually. It just may take a while to figure out exactly where “there” is after the last year and a half of totally crazy roller coaster rides…and right now I’m off to read a book, or work a puzzle with LittleOne, or watch a movie perhaps, but nothing that will make me think too hard. I’ll worry about the rest of it tomorrow…or the next day…or the day after…